Christmas Shoes

6th day of Christmas:

I was forced to listen to that horrible Christmas Shoes song 30 times today and I even had to watch the movie.

THERE'S A MOVIE!!!!!!

I did not know that.

Offspring #6 wants to buy me some shoes. Should I be scared? Is he suggesting that I am going to meet Jesus tonight just like that horrible, horrible song? Who writes a song like this for Christmas? Merry Christmas. Someone's mother is dying and buying shoes for her corpse. Mmmmmm! I want some egg nog with that! Why is the little boy shopping alone? Why is the store keeper not asking, "Hey little boy, where the h_ _ _ are your parents? I'm calling CPS."

And have I mentioned that I haven't slept in like three days because of Offspring #13?

Do you think if I wrote a Christmas song about my coma and dismemberment of my legs, it would be a hit? Maybe I'm onto something ......