My Crippled Legs

Church was horrible today. Offspring #4, 5, and 6 dumped me out of my wheelchair in the foyer when no one was around and took turns running over my already pulverized legs. My mother (the worst mother in the world) paid them a dollar every time they did it.

Now they're asking me if we can go buy a Wii with their money. If I tell them no, I'm afraid of what they might do to me.

This is what they brought me for lunch:

How very sweet of them. Oh no. What are they doing with that roll of duct tape?