The Hell That is My Life

I am seriously so not blessed. Every day, something horrible happens to me. Just watch. Today I lost my favorite scrunchie, my closet door fell and ripped my toenail off, and I fell down two flights of stairs. OWWWWWW!!!! Make that three flights of stairs! (I like to blog on the run.) The neighbors are laughing at me. I hate them so very, very much.

My life sucks and I want my toenail back. I'm going to have to paint my other toenails blood red to match.

Time to feed my whiney offspring. We're out of cheese. They told me I'm the worst mother on earth. No, that would be my mother. More on that later.